Thursday, May 12, 2011

Everything is AWESOME!1!!!

I've been exploring some new bad-ass composition career opportunities, and I had no idea the world was so freakin' awesome. Like seriously, the world ROCKS. One awesome INSTENSE job would be to compose music for the National Geographic Channel, or as they awesomely call themselves, "NatGeo."

The thing that's really awesome about composin' music for NatGeo is that it's your job to make sure that everything is portrayed as absolutely awesomely action packed and bad-ass as possible. Boring you say? Get the freak outta here! This is the WORLD we're talkin' about. It's freakin' INTENSE. Say you have a show about long-shore men in Los Angeles. Boring, everyday stuff you say? What do you know about long-shoring, you jerk, it's crazy INTENSE! Just check out the crazy awesome action-movie soundtrack a la The Rock NatGeo lays down. (If somehow you are so intense that you get bored, at least be sure to watch the last 30 seconds!!)

And just imagine- try not to freak out now- this is just an average freakin' day at America's Port!!! I'm freakin' out! I want to freakin' tear out my hair and do a back flip in my bedroom, then kick-ass like a ninja 'cause I am a ninja. Traffic streams across the bridge!!! A crane boom is down! A rogue sailor eludes the Coast Guard (America's Guard). A movie preview announcer narrates, and a Xenakis style string glissando raises the stakes. It's so intense!!!!

For all you that thought fishin' was boring, I suggest you check out the Animal Planet show RIVER MONSTERS. That's right. It's freakin' amazing. I can barely watch the show it's so nuts. A mild-mannered British guy (maybe Australian, who the hell knows) FISHES for FISH but they're really MONSTERS. He doesn't know WHAT he's getting his-self into. There's so much WAITING. But there's also so much DRUMMING. It's INTENSE to the MAX.

And did you know about falcon photography? Check out this website. It's freakin' all over falcons. But who wrote this music? Was this a commission? I had no idea falcons were so freakin' awesome and majestic. And evil. And tragic.

If you find your life is a little boring 'cause you don't have no bad-ass musical soundtrack, I suggest you play this crazy bad-ass track I found on youTube the next time you are cooking or doin' somethin' else stupid that jerks do. You'll be cooking, but you'll feel like a fuckin' pirate.

You can find all kinds of intense-awesome-crazy-kick-ass-back-flippin' music on youTube when you do searches for things like "intense music" or "dramatic music." Everythin' freakin' ROCKS!1!!!